My dad likes to tell the story about how when I was a newborn, they placed me in the bassinet in the nursery at the hospital, and I pushed myself all around the little bed until I rubbed my nose raw. I came home with a scab on the tip of my nose. My mom says that it was strange the day it fell off—she said it was like getting a new child!My dad jokes that I was busy moving then, and I’ve been going a hundred miles an hour ever since. I guess to a certain degree that is true. I love being busy, and I can always find something productive to do to fill time. I’m never bored.
At the same time that very aspect of my personality has sometimes been a hindrance. It’s easy for me to get too much on my plate, or to get my priorities out of line. It’s not just a matter of inconvenience—keeping priorities out of line can lead to disaster, both professionally, and with family, too.
So in today’s chapel talk, I want to share with you some things that I have learned along the way—some of them by experience, and some of them having been related to me by older, wise preachers—which have helped me avoid burnout, and stay on track.
First, when it’s time to work, work. When it’s time to rest, rest. One of the best pieces of advice that I think I’ve ever heard concerning a preacher managing his time and energy comes from my dad, and he heard it harped on by the late brother Wendell Winkler while he was getting his degree at Faulkner.
He said, “There are three parts to a day: morning, afternoon, and evening. You need to work for two of them, whichever ones you choose. But you can’t work all three.”
When it’s time to work, work. When it’s time to rest, rest. Don’t dawdle around and waste time. Jesus said, “I must work the works of Him who sent me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work” (John 9:4). You and I only have a limited amount of time in which to do our work, so when it’s time to work, do it.
At the same time, don’t discount the necessity of rest. God made our bodies to need physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual recharging. Just think of it this way—rest is just a much a part of work as the work itself. Solomon wrote, “The sleep of a laboring man is sweet” (Ecc. 5:12). Likewise, a man who isn’t mentally sharp, is emotionally drained, physically tired, or spiritually bankrupt can’t be much of a servant for the kingdom of God. So, when it’s time to work, work. When it’s time to rest, rest.
Second, learn to be okay with setting boundaries. One of the biggest issues that I’ve personally had is with saying no. I want to do everything than I can for the cause of Christ, but if I’m not careful, I can have so many things going on that I do none of them well. After all, I’m not the whole body—I’m just a part of it (cf. 1 Cor. 12).
I’ve actually gotten a bit better at this, but it’s something with which I still struggle. So here are some things that help me, which might help you:
Learn to be okay with saying “no.” Ministers tend to have a “people pleasing” streak in them. If we aren’t careful, this personality trait can become a serious stumbling block, as it can keep us from getting things done that really do need to be done.
Don’t let others control your time. Jesus didn’t. Look at Mark 1:35-39. After having just had an amazing evening healing sick people from all over Capernaum, Jesus arose early in the morning to go and pray in a solitary place. But people were looking for him. They wanted to see him. When Peter finally finds Jesus, he says to him, “Everyone is looking for you!” What’s implied is that Peter thinks Jesus ought to go and see these people. But notice Jesus’ response: “Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.” Jesus didn’t let others rule his time, and divert him from the importance of his mission.
This is especially applicable in my case (and brother Jacob’s). Being between the work here at the school, and the work that I do with the church in Sweetwater, no one here truly knows what’s going on in my life, and no one there truly knows what’s happening with my life here, either. The only two persons who know what is actually going on in my life, and the priorities that I have are me and God. I have to keep that perspective, and so do you.
Practically speaking, boundaries doesn’t just mean saying “no,” or not letting others control my time. Sometimes it means letting a phone call go to voicemail. Sometimes it means answering an email later. Sometimes it means putting a project on the back burner. Sometimes it may even mean disappointing, or angering people who don’t understand. But you have to create boundaries. This is vitally important for the third thing I want to mention.
Third, learn to minister to your family and friends first. Ministry can seduce a man into ignoring or sacrificing the people to whom he is closest under the guise of offering his body as a “living sacrifice” (cf. Rom. 12:1). This is never what God had in mind, nor is it God’s way of doing things.
My dad and I have never had a “lovey dovey huggy” relationship. But I love him, and I know he loves me, and I’m one of the most important people in his life. I know this, because for years of baseball games, football practices and games, band practices and competitions, he was never too busy to be there. That spoke volumes to me then, and I treasure that now that I understand it even better from the perspective of a father.
Likewise, he once told me that even if he lost his work in the small congregation where I had the joy of spending my entire childhood, he would have taken another job besides preaching so that we could graduate from the school where we started. That means so much more to me now than it even did then. My sister and I were important.
Ministry doesn’t give you an excuse to be an absentee husband, father and friend—if anything, it ought to give you the motivation to be the best. Remember Paul’s requirements for God’s ideal men (a.k.a. elders)? One of them is that he must be one who rules his own household well, and then Paul writes in 1 Timothy 3:5 this parenthetical statement: “for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” Let that sink in.
When it’s time to work, work. When it’s time to rest, rest. Be okay with setting boundaries. Minister to your family and friends first.
Nice article. Time management is a very important topic. Enjoy reading your posts. Take care, Steve
ReplyDelete