Afraid, But Not Willing

I'm scared to death about being a father. It's not Jenaleigh as a baby that scares me, but it’s the teenage, then adult Jenaleigh. It's also the following thought: "What if I don't teach her the way that I'm supposed to? What if she grows up, and loses her love of God, and of His church?”

Don't think that I don't worry about whether she'll be, or stay, faithful. I'm not too proud to entertain the terrifying possibility that she won’t. After all, preacher's kids have a reputation for going apostate (whether that reputation is fitting or not). Too many times I’ve seen families of preachers have children who fall.

In the Bible I also read about a lot of good men with very bad children. Samuel had his evil sons (cf. 1 Samuel 8:1-3), David had Absalom (2 Samuel 13-18), Solomon had Rehoboam (1 Kings 12), and in a sense, Adam and Eve had God as their father (cf. Genesis 1-3). All of their children failed at one point, if not bitterly.

You see, I realize that the choice to obey is, and has to be, hers. Otherwise it won't count. No one can obey from compulsion and be pleasing to God. Rather, God wants us to obey from the heart (cf. Romans 6:17-18). If it isn't her obedience, than it doesn't matter.

I don't know that there is really a sure-fire way for a parent to guarantee their child's faithfulness. I don’t know that there is a checklist that someone can follow which is a “no doubt” method assuring faithfulness for life. That's the scary part. You see, just as she (when she becomes accountable for her actions) isn't saved just because I am, I'm not a sinner just because of her. Ezekiel says this:

“²⁰ The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. ” (Ezekiel 18:20, NKJV)

In other words, ultimately it is my child who will be responsible for her actions before God. What can I do about it? Locking her up at home doesn't work any better than letting her roam free to make her own mistakes. I’ve seen the fruits of both. After all, Adam and Eve had the haven of the garden of Eden, yet Satan still found them in the home God created for them. Surely sending them out to do as they please doesn't solve the problem, either. Balance is what is needed (cf. Ephesians 6:4). The best I can do is be sure to “stack the odds” in her favor. Rest assured they’ll be stacked high!

Obviously it's not always a parent's fault when their child isn't faithful. I suppose that in one way, it's their opportunity to experience (ironically) what God experienced, and still experiences with his lost children.

Still, I won't enter fatherhood with the expectation of defeat. If I go into fatherhood excusing myself before I “fail,” how can I ever really know that I will try? After all, God demands perfection of us (cf. Romans 6:1-2; 1 Peter 1:15-16, 2:21) though it is unattainable through our own actions (1 John 1:8; Romans 3:23). God’s expectations of us don’t diminish, even if we are incapable at times.

Likewise, when it comes to God’s expectations of saving His children, he doesn't give up either. God has the expectation of victory:

“⁹ The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9, NKJV)

The key in that verse? The phrase “not willing.” God is “not willing” that any should perish. Does that mean that they won’t? No, they will endure punishment if they don’t repent (cf. Matthew 7:13-14; also John 5:28-29). God tells us that there will be people lost (sorry Rob Bell). Still, it is said of Him, he is “not willing.” What a beautiful thought, that when it comes to His children, he won’t give up.

May it be said of me, and of you fathers as well, that we are “not willing” for our children to perish. God gave His Son for that cause. What will you give?

~Daniel Howell

Fatal Flaws

I’m not the kind of person who is always looking for the silver lining in a storm cloud. I’m positive, but I’d like to think I’m also realistic about life. Sometimes we may never know why we suffer. Job never knew, even though we know, since we have the 3^rd person perspective (cf. Job 1).

But we can always learn from tragedy.

Tuscaloosa. Joplin. Hackleburg. Phil Campbell. Countless others. Some were larger cities, others were small towns. All suffered. All are still suffering. And then I find the following article on USA Today’s website: Tornado lessons could lead to stronger buildings.

You see, a pile of rubble might not look like a lot to you and me. But to people who study the effects of storms, it’s a gold mine of information. Tim Marshall, a meteorologist and engineer, said the following:

"The damage is Mother Nature's fingerprint, and I play Sherlock Holmes looking for evidence…"I looked at residences, businesses and schools in order to see what the fatal flaws were in these buildings that made them collapse." (Keen, 2011)

Sometimes we can’t tell where a fatal flaw is until it is exposed. Without crash testing cars, we can’t see what needs to be fortified or redesigned. No one who is thinking straight would dare try to scale a wall on a rope without first giving it a good, hard pull from the ground. Sometimes things need to be broken for them to be made stronger.

The same thing is true of the struggles you face in your life. The old adage, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” has a bit of truth to it. The Bible puts it this way:

“³ The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the Lord tests the hearts.” (Proverbs 17:3, NKJV)

Oddly, we usually spend more time protecting, and hiding our weaknesses, rather than working to eradicate them. Doesn’t that seem a bit backwards to you? Maybe it’s because the process of getting better hurts. But sometimes we have to go “through the fire” or “into the storm” to come out better on the other side. Our trials can provide us valuable information about ourselves, and help us to become better if we learn from what we live through.

James puts it this way:

“² My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. ⁴ And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything. ” (James 1:2–4, NET)

When things are broken down, you get a chance to learn. You get a chance to see where you can be stronger. You get a chance to put things back together in a better, stronger way. You’ve seen the weaknesses. Now fortify them with God, and His Word, before your flaws become eternally fatal.

~Daniel Howell

Works Cited

Keen, J. (2011, June 6). Tornado lessons could lead to stronger buildings. Retrieved June 7, 2011, from USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/environment/2011-06-07-tornado-lessons-building-design_n.htm

Women’s Wednesday | “It’s Just a Kiss!”

The entire Sophomore class gathered for an afternoon assembly. It didn’t matter what the subject of the meeting was, it was getting me out of history class, so I was a happy camper. The speaker got up on stage. She was tastefully dressed, petite, and soft spoken yet commanding. She began to talk about her choices in life concerning dating, engagement, and marriage. I don’t recall much of the speech, except for this … She popped a tape into the VHS player (remember those black boxes that held movies once upon a time?) It was her wedding tape. We didn’t watch it all. Just the end. The kiss. That kiss was the first time she and her chosen one had kissed. EVER.

I remember scoffing. How in the world could you marry someone without ever kissing them? What if they were a terrible kisser? How could the marriage ever work?

Now, looking back on this, I respect this woman whose name I cannot even remember. Especially today, as a parent typing this while holding my daughter in my arms, I respect her even more.

No, my husband and I did not wait until our wedding day to have our first kiss. Do we wish we had? Yes, the more and more we think about it, the wiser I think it would have been to hold off on that physical contact until the marriage vows were complete.

Why? Well, let me suggest the following to you… (And please, keep in mind that I am in no way condemning those who chose or choose to kiss before marriage. I simply think that the subject should be carefully studied by both parties and a decision made based on examining the Bible and your hearts.)

Kissing can be a sexual act based on lust. The kiss I’m speaking of in this post is not the one you’d give your mom or dad. Not the kiss you’d give your dog. But rather this kiss would be a kiss that is inappropriate between sister and brother. It’s inappropriate between mother and son. You know what type of kiss I’m talking about, more than just a peck – open mouth, passionate kissing. Or what about this kiss: “A kiss involving insertion of the tongue into the partner’s mouth, open mouth kissing using the tongue.” (definition of French kiss, Dictionary.com) Kissing such as this triggers physical responses (arousal) in the kissers’ bodies. There is no doubt in my mind that these acts are sexual acts! Remember the urgings of the inspired apostle Paul: “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” (Ephesians 5:3, ESV). Or what about 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality.” (ESV)? But, don’t just think about the type of kiss, ponder its purpose. When a boyfriend and girlfriend kiss, why are they kissing? Is it to show an innocent display of affection (as you would kiss your mother on the check?) or is it more about passion and fulfilling improper physical intimacy – LUST! We need not look any further than the first book of the New Testament to see that lust is a sin (Matthew 5:28).

Kissing can lead to further sexual sin (which, remember, we are to flee from, 1 Cor 6:18). As Joshua Harris states in his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye: “Physical interaction encourages us to begin something we’re not supposed to finish, awakening desires we’re not allowed to consummate, turning on passions we have to turn off.” Are you willing to take that chance, kindling a desire for even further sexual sin?

If you’ve yet to enter the dating or courting world, remember to stay pure and contemplate what that means. If you’re already in a dating relationship that involves kissing, it’s not too late to stop. If you’re a concerned parent you can help frame and shape the way your child sees kissing and possibly help prevent them from entering into a slippery slope of sin that the world will push on them as innocent. Arm them with the mantra: “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) – have them memorize this verse, analyze it, and keep it in their hearts as they enter into a dating relationship or courtship.

(Author’s Note: I highly recommend checking out Joshua Harris’s “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and “Boy Meets Girl” for further info on courting and physical purity before marriage. The books are very easy reads full of anecdotes and Scripture references.)

~Martha Howell

Tech Tip Tuesday–“Focused Blogging”

Since I’ve gotten several plugs from the Ministry Geek This Week podcast on The Equip Network, I thought I’d plug them again. The past couple weeks’ podcasts have dealt with blogging, and doing it effectively. It got me to thinking about a problem that bloggers often have – what do I need to write about?

It’s easy for writer’s block to put up a wall between you and your keyboard. I’ve found, though, that when I suffer from that dreaded writing disease, it’s usually because I’ve lost focus of what I’m supposed to be doing on my blog.

I won’t say I’m an expert in this field, but I offer the following suggestions, along with the links to the MG podcasts:

• Stay true to your niche. Don’t stray off the topic of your blog. For example, my blog is about practicing Christianity/Ministry. I try to make sure that every article that appears on this blog has something to do with doing or at the very least changing a way of thinking. Practicality is the point of this blog. I may not always hit dead center on the target, but I at least aim to hit it.
  
  
• Stay true to your niche. Yes, I did repeat the same sentence. This time, what I mean by it is, don’t stray off into writing styles and content types that don’t suit who you are. Your writing will read as though you are “forcing it,” and that’s because you are.
  
  I’m a little more conversational in my writing style (or at least I think I am). For this reason, I’m not going to start writing scholarly-styled articles to post on this blog. You wouldn’t want to read them. In the same thought, you need to stick to what you can do well.
  
  
• Take a long look at your analytics. This means that you are going to have to blog for a little while in order to build the readership data, but take a good look at what kinds of posts receive the most attention. I started out doing a lot of videos on this blog, but it turned out that those days had the lowest readership of all other types of posts. For that reason, I dropped them, almost entirely. It’s not worth my time to write/produce something nobody is going to read or watch.
  
  Also, take a long hard look at your search terms. You ought to be creating tags for every post you make. Over time, you’ll be surprised at what search terms brought people to your website. Here are a few terms that people used to find my blog in the past month or so:
  
  
  
  
  • God is not mocked
    
  • Christian Practice
    
  • Chocolate milk
    
  • Pinkytoes.com
    
  • Ministry uses for Droid
    
  • Recipe for a Christian life
    
  • Reasons why I forget about the goodness of God
    
  • How to practice trusting in God
    
  • I think I’m too smart
    
  • Christian mixed bathing church of Christ
    
  • What do Christian guys think about one piece bathing suits
    
  • Practice wearing bikini
    
  • “Church of Christ” children “fallen away”
    
  • Pictures of girls swimming in their backyard pool without wearing any clothes [I hope he found the article he needed instead of wanted! D.H.]
    
  • Getting the right answer the wrong way
    
  • What do you call a person who accepts Christ but doesn’t live it?
    
  • I’m smart but I’m still a Christian
  
  
  
  

It’s quite revealing seeing how people find my blog. It also gives me a chance to see what things people are looking for. What are the needs of those who stumble across my blog? How can I better serve them? If you are having problems figuring out what to write, take a look at what people are already reading on your blog. It can be awfully enlightening.

Well, that’s it. I hope this gives you a little to chew on.

Be sure to listen to the Ministry Geek This Week Podcast.

~Daniel Howell

What Grace Can’t Do

The following is my manuscript from Sunday, June 5, 2011 AM worship service. Hope you find it useful!

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Grace: A Wonderful Thing

Let me tell you, 1 Peter 2:2-3 has taken on a whole new meaning for my wife and me. It seems like there is no end to the feeding of our newborn daughter! Jenaleigh can’t just have a little milk and be content. It’s like she’s always hungry!

It’s a wonderful thing to experience firsthand the kind of attitude that Peter is talking about here. It’s the kind of desire that we ought to have.

I don’t know about you, but just like a baby takes comfort in its mother’s arms, I take great comfort in the grace of God. It is indeed a wonderful thing to know that when it comes to my relationship with God, I can know that he won’t give me what I really deserve (i.e., show me mercy), but that he’ll give me what I don’t deserve. That’s how many people have defined his grace; It’s the benevolence of God that he extended to us through his Son on the cross (cf. John 3:16) as action against our sin.

If you’ve truly “tasted” the graciousness of the Lord, then you know that you can’t just have a little. You want more! You see, the Bible tells us that God is able to do great things for us by his grace. His grace brings salvation (Titus 2:11), and as Peter alludes to, it is able to build up his people to spiritual maturity through his Word (cf. Acts 20:32). It’s also God’s grace that gives us sufficiency to do every good work (cf. 2 Corinthians 9:8).

Indeed we ought to be thankful like Paul was in 2 Corinthians 9:15 when he gave thanks for God’s “indescribable gift.” God’s grace obviously does so much for us! But what if I told you there were some things that God’s grace couldn’t do?

A Sinner Saved by Grace

You see, I’m afraid that “grace” has become merely a “buzzword” in our time. Just as some words and phrases fall in and out of style over the decades, the phrase, ”I’m a sinner saved by grace” seems to have suffered the same fate. The more stylish it is to say such a thing, the more the deeper meaning is diminished.

So many false teachers today have spoken and written of God’s grace in such a way as to water it down, and make it into something that it isn’t. While God is able to do far more than we could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), his grace can’t go beyond the bounds that He laid down for it. There are just some things that God’s grace can’t do.

A Startling Revelation

Noah gives us some information on how God’s grace is limited. Of course we read that Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord (cf. Genesis 6:8). Some translations will opt for “favor,” but according to the Septuagint, the word there is charis, the same word used in the New Testament to refer to grace. Both are right. But this might lead to a startling revelation for some people about God’s grace.

The point is this: Noah found grace in God’s eyes. Granted, it wasn’t the same “brand” we have (through Christ), but did that exempt him from building the ark? Let’s just play a “what if” scenario here. “What if” Noah, in having found grace from God, suddenly expected God to save him on the basis of grace only, and decided not to do all of the work necessary to build the ark? After all, he did find grace! Of course that’s silly. But that’s exactly what people are expecting God to do when they preach the doctrine of grace without “works” of righteousness. Instead, Noah had the right idea; he did all that God commanded him to do (cf. Genesis 6:22).

When people expect all the benefits of salvation, without all the “work” involved, they’ve fallen off the boat. After all, Paul wrote to the church in Philippi (Philippians 2:12) to “work out your own salvation.” He didn’t mean to make it up, but rather, the sense is to realize it in practice (Mounce). Your salvation is based on doing. After all, faith without works is dead (cf. James 2:26).

God has some limits on his grace. This limit is not about numbers (e.g., Calvinism). This limit is also not a “throttle” on the amount of grace. Either someone has God’s favor, or they don’t. The limits on His grace have nothing to do with God’s part, but everything to do with what we do, or don’t do with His grace. God’s grace is limited by our obedience!

God’s Grace Can’t Help You if You Refuse It.

Some things just obviously don't work. Ever tried to light wet wood? Ever tried to run gas in a diesel engine? Ever tried to get on the lake with a boat that has a hole in it? It ought to be obvious then that God's grace isn't going to do anything for someone who outright refuses it.

God’s grace isn’t going to overwhelm anyone. It can certainly be refused. John records in Revelation 21:8 that among those who will have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone are those listed as “unbelieving.” It should be apparent that God won’t save those who don’t believe in Him. That’s the end of the story. We see that it’s Jesus’ desire to help save those who need saving. But even He is restricted from helping some people (Matthew 23:37). It’s not because He can’t, but rather, because they aren’t willing. Surely God’s grace can’t help those who don’t want it.

God’s Grace Can’t Help You if You are Not Obedient

Paul makes a very clear statement in 2 Thessalonians 1:8. He makes it plain that God will punish those who don’t obey when Christ returns.

“⁸ in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. ” (2 Thessalonians 1:8, NKJV)

If someone isn’t willing to do their part in salvation, which means, obedience, to His plan, then God can’t do his part. In fact, because he is just and a righteous judge, he is under obligation to punish (Romans 2:5)! Obviously, God’s grace does nothing for those who are disobedient.

God’s Grace Can’t Help You if You are Rebellious

Somehow, some people convince themselves that a little sin every so often isn’t going to hurt them. Maybe it’s going out to loosen up with a few drinks on the weekends. Maybe it’s making a short trip to the riverboat every couple months. Maybe it’s a little of this, or that, or this habit, or this vice.

How many of you who have raised children tolerated a little rebellion from them? Now it’s one thing for your child to do something wrong “on accident.” But you knew it was entirely different when you told your child not to do something, but they did it anyway. If you wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) tolerate open rebellion in your children, what makes you think that God is going to in His children? Paul deals with that folly of thought in Romans 6:1-2.

Also, Consider Hebrews 10:26-27:

“²⁶ For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, ²⁷ but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries.” (Hebrews 10:26–27, NKJV)

Keep in mind that God forgives all sin that we are willing to admit (cf. 1 John 1:9), but someone who is continually rebellious, i.e., lives a with mindset which accommodates sin instead of abstaining from it, has turned their back on God. In other words, God can’t forgive them because they haven’t admitted wrong-doing, and are still in the process of doing whatever it may be. There’s no one left to forgive such a person. There’s no other sacrifice that can be made other than the one Christ made, and they’ve rejected it. God’s grace can’t help them while they live in that state.

Some Good News

I hope that it’s apparent to you today that you and I have a part that we have to fulfill when it comes to God’s grace. God’s grace can only work in our lives if we allow it through our obedience. God’s grace is present and powerful in the lives of those who are willing to live obedient lives of service to God. Christ Jesus, the central figure of God’s grace, washes us of our sins by his blood, so long as we continue to walk with Him in the light (1 John 1:7). Have you started that walk?

~Daniel Howell

Flat-Faith Christians?

I’m sure most all of us are familiar with the myth that supposedly prevailed during the time of Christopher Columbus about the Earth being flat. People were afraid that when he sailed in search of the Indies, that he was going to eventually fall off the edge of the earth. This idea prevailed because of a fictitious biography about Columbus written by Washington Irving which painted Columbus as a hero since he defied the establishment of that day and sailed anyway (Wells, 2005).

The truth: people of Columbus’s day didn’t think that the earth was flat. They knew better. Accordingly, you would think that seriously considering such a view about our planet would seem utterly ridiculous today. If you think that, let me introduce you to some people: The Flat Earth Society.

Yes, they do exist. Yes, they seem to be serious. That slight curve you see in the horizon when you stand on a mountain (Bishop, A view from Everest, 2010)? Well, they say that’s evidence of a circular earth, not a spherical one. When a ship disappears over the horizon? Well, that doesn’t prove the earth is spherical, but rather that it’s flat for sure (Bishop, Ships appear to sink as they recede past the horizon, 2010)! What about those images from space of a sphere, especially the time-lapse videos which so the earth rotating? Well, they prove flatness, too.

Never mind that for a while I made my living in a field where understanding how lenses and optics affect your perception of lines and angles (photography), but when I look at the pictures they use as “proof,” it doesn’t take much to see that they look like images of a sphere to me.

I see huge flaws in their reasoning. What’s their biggest flaw? Their minds are pre-disposed to see only the “evidence” that “proves” their theories. They aren’t handling the evidence properly!

When your views on something are shaped in the same way that these so-called “flat-earthers” are, by mishandled evidence or faulty reasoning, your conclusions are going to be wrong. Mishandled evidence is the same as having no evidence. Approaching evidence with a decision already in mind about its interpretation constitutes a dishonest examination as well.

The same thing is true of any “evidence” we have from the Bible about anything. If someone approaches a question or problem with their mind made up about what the Bible will say before they’ve taken the time to really examine the evidence, they’re being dishonest, and mishandling God’s word (cf. 2 Timothy 2:15, ESV). In those cases, their faith is based on the same principles of examination that these “flat-earthers” base their views on. I guess you could call such a person a “flat-faith” Christian. Like a flat balloon, their faith hasn’t been fully filled out with the God-breathed truth (cf. 2 Timothy 3:16).

We might chuckle a little about the Flat Earth Society. Even though they seem ridiculous, their views are relatively harmless. On the other hand, it’s certainly no laughing matter when people ignore evidence in God’s Word about what they should be doing. Be honest: Are you guilty of being a “flat-faith” Christian? (cf. 2 Corinthians 13:5)

~Daniel Howell

Works Cited

Bishop, T. (2010, February 24). A view from Everest. Retrieved June 1, 2011, from The Flat Earth Society Wiki: http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=A+View+From+Everest

Bishop, T. (2010, October 18). Ships appear to sink as they recede past the horizon. Retrieved June 1, 2011, from The Flat Earth Society Wiki: http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=Ships+appear+to+sink+as+they+recede+past+the+horizon

Wells, J. (2005, May 20). Not the Flat Earth Myth Again! Retrieved June 1, 2011, from Center for Science & Culture: http://www.discovery.org/a/2587