Say “No” to Husband Bashing! | Women’s Wednesday

This is the start of something new this week – a day devoted to the ladies! I want to welcome my lovely, talented, and wonderful wife Martha Howell to The Christian Practice as our “Women’s Wednesday” writer. Ladies, I know you’ll find Martha’s thoughts insightful, thought provoking, and helpful.

---

I was enjoying a lovely evening – a “girls’ night out” – when I found myself in the midst of a fiery husband bashing session. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. It started out with one wife telling how her husband leaves his dirty underwear on the floor, then progressed to stories from the next woman about how her husband watches football for hours and never helps out around the house. After all the women at the table had finished their stories, they looked at me expectantly.

It was my turn.

That night I chose not to “bash” my husband. But it took effort and a purposed mind! It’s so easy to get pulled into the groupthink mentality that all men are helpless, worthless, and careless. However, by doing so – even if just indulging in our complaints for mere minutes – we are feeding a state of mind that diminishes our husbands as men and the role that God has put forth for them. We are taking men who we love and respect, and denigrating and belittling them.

So, when you find yourself tempted to complain about your husband think about the following:

I will not complain about my husband because…

• Bashing him is the same as letting unwholesome talk out of my mouth. This is in direct contradiction of Ephesians 4:29:

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

• Bashing him hurts his reputation and influence. As a preacher’s wife this one is especially pertinent to me. By telling friends my husband’s faults (many which may be over exaggerated in the heat of husband bashing), they may have an altered view of him, diminishing his Christian influence. In essence, I’m giving him a bad name! What a shame this is, especially if your Christian husband is trying to win souls, help other Christians grow, and preach the Word. Instead, let’s focus on helping our husbands have a good name, which is more valuable than great riches! (Proverbs 22:1)
  
• Bashing him hurts my reputation and influence. I don’t know about you, but I want my light to shine bright (Matthew 5:16)! By engaging in the practice of gossiping and husband bashing, I’m conforming myself to this world (Romans 12:2) and not letting others see how different Christians are (and are to be).
  
• Bashing him shows that I have no respect of him, which ought not to be (Ephesians 5:33b)! When you respect someone a bad word against them will never cross your lips. Remember this when talking about your husband.

Ladies, decide right this moment to never again engage in what seems like “harmless” husband bashing, no matter how tempting it may be. Realize that this ritual of picking out our spouse’s faults and complaining about them is anything BUT harmless! Instead focus your mind on your loving husband and share with your friends something great that he does in your marriage. Then, watch their mouths drop and their respect grow for both you and your husband.

~Martha Howell